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The Greatest Gong Show on Earth!

July 27, 2010

Well ladies and gentlemen,

This is essentially a cautionary tale against binge drinking and a total disregard for behaviors and laws you would otherwise respect in any other part of the world.  Ko Pha Ngan, however is unlike any such places.  It has a reputation for taking even the most straight-laced, button down, right-wing conservative prick and turning him into what anthropologists might describe as “primitive”.  A lawyer might describe it as “grounds for divorce”.  The women are no better, but you can use your imagination.  In any event, of course it’s possible to enjoy a more mild experience of this body paint, glow stick, throw-down extravaganza – I just wouldn’t recommend it as a school field trip.

The following is a slightly revised personal account of just such an experience, written for me some time after the event itself.  I’ve changed the names of those involved, not that it really matters but you never know where these things wind up.

Warning: This story is not for the faint of heart, or the under-exposed.  Frequent drug referencing and swearing. . .  So let’s begin!


To read the story, follow this link here to the page “Koh Pha Ngan FM 2010“.
Enjoy!  You can also select it from the tabbed pages across the top.


I’d like to state for the record that I think everyone in that group behaved like total jackasses and got what they deserved.  It’s too bad for Tom that he had to suffer the brunt of the consequences for the group’s follies but that’s what you get when you compound one bonehead decision on top of another – that and not listening to what your mother was trying to tell you all these years, especially considering a place as unforgiving as Thailand.

I have to hand it to the group for sticking together though.  No one ever abandoned Tom and we all did what little we could to help him get back on his feet while he was in jail.  I have to hand it to Tom for being so hard about the whole thing as well.  He took his licks and still managed to stay relatively positive about the whole experience after it was all said and done.  If anyone other than Tom had been caught, it would have been much more tragic, but since it was Tom. . .

I’d also like to note that Tom isn’t purely the raging asshole as depicted in the story.  Before Thailand he spent months of mature, culturally defining travel in India where he drove halfway across the country on a single piston motorcycle.  He’s since left Ko Tao and Thailand for a more introspective journey to Myanmar where he is currently developing his meditation techniques.

I miss him and hope he’s doing well.





Now the story was posted as bit of a joke to show off some of the madness that springs up in such a reckless environment.  At the same time I mean for it to be taken somewhat seriously because it only has a happy ending because Tom was fortunate enough to have the money to bail himself out.  Worse case scenario he was facing 4 years in prison, not jail, and never being allowed to re-enter the country.  The lesson here is: Don’t fuck about when it gives the authorities any excuse to bend you over a barrel.  Period.


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